But I Love You
by best with breadsticks
Summary: Ian, emotional due to Wanda's plans to leave, convinces her to have one last human experience with him before she leaves. And once Melanie is free of Wanda, Melanie is now charged with carry thier deed.
1. Experience

Disclaimer: I don't own The Host

Disclaimer: I don't own The Host.

Author's Note: This is like my 3rd pregnant fic, so yeah… This is based on the part where Ian finds out Wanda is going to free Melanie, this is supposed to be when they are in his room and he is crying. I changed the dialogue and such….

--

_Ian rested his head on Wanda's stomach, his sobs muffled by her body. He didn't want her to leave. She mean far more to him than Melanie, needless to say he hadn't even known Melanie prior to her mind being infiltrated by Wanda, but he didn't care. Wanda was a person too now; she had proven herself, she was one of them._

"_Wanda…" He moaned into her stomach as she gently brushed her fingers through his hair, it was her attempt to calm him down. Her attempt, though failing, still was able to comfort his pain._

_In the past few minutes, she had admitted that she was going to allow Melanie to have her life back; she was going to allow Doc to remove her from Melanie's mind. And then after, she had told Doc to discard her; she had nowhere else she wished to go. There wasn't any place left for her to find this feeling; these human emotions were more than she could have ever expected. They completed her. And so, she would find her final life in a container buried with Wes and Walter._

"_Shh, Ian. It's ok. It's right." Wanda tried to soothe him, but he only held tighter around her waist. And even though Wanda tried to hold them back, his sobbing was making it almost impossible to stop herself from breaking down and crying too._

_It was shaking her to core, the fact that he cared enough for her that he would hold on to her for dear life hysterical over her departure. But even if she wanted to stay, she couldn't do that to Melanie. They had formed and friendship and it wasn't right she was being unwilling trapped in her own mind._

"_Ian, please. I'm sorry…I can't stay." Her throat burned as she spoke. Tears still running down her cheek, her eyes blood-shot from the constant wiping of them. "Please…"_

"_No, it's not right. You can't leave." He finally moved his head, so that his eyes were looking straight into her blood-shot ones. "You can't leave me." He whimpered and placed his head back into its original position._

"_You know I have to…I can't leave her trapped like that. It isn't fair to her. This is her world, not mine." Wanda pressed her forehead down on the top of Ian's mop of disheveled, dirty and sweaty hair._

_The two cried for a bit without word exchange. They were caught in the moment, breathing in every little detail about one another. Wanda was taking in Ian; she took in everything about him. His scent, his eyes, the way his hair flopped back and forth when he moved; everything. Ian was doing the same as Wanda; trying to instill him memory, everything about her personality. Not her body, because he would see that after she was gone. It never really was Wanda anyway; it had always been Melanie._

_He gained his composure before her. He sat up and pulled her into his arms, holding her so that her head rested on his chest. His arms wrapped around her; his hand rubbing her back trying to relinquish the feelings she was expressing currently; her pain._

_Leaning to her hear, he whisper. "I'm sorry. I was mean."_

"_I'm sorry too." She pressed her face into his chest. "I should have told you…I was too afraid of hurting you."_

"_You've been planning this awhile, haven't you?" He swallowed some stray tears that hadn't gone yet._

"_Yes…" Tears welled up again in her eyes. "Since the Seeker."_

"_I won't let them do this to you! I won't! Wanda, it's not righ-"_

"_No, Ian." Wanda's voice was barely a whisper in his ear. She spoke so only he, and he allow, could hear her words. "No one is making me…I chose this." _

_Ian grumbled, she felt the vibration as her head lay on his chest._

"_I've always wanted to free Melanie. It's not right for her. She's like a sister to me and I love her." Wanda pleaded with him._

"_But I love you." His breath was heavy on her face. "Isn't that enough for you?"_

_She froze. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. A human shouldn't be in love with a soul. But then again, a soul shouldn't be in love with a human. And she…she loved him._

_She pushed herself backwards, so that she could see his eyes. "Ian…I love you, but I can't love you as this person. This is Melanie." She motioned to her body. "I'm nothing more than an intruder in realm."_

"_But Wanda." His eyes were beseeching with her. Telling her to stay. Telling her the happy story that her and him could spend together. They could wed. They could have children. They could have a family. But that would never be fair to Melanie, who was forever caged inside her, if she decided to not free her. _

_She shook her head. "No, Ian. I have to." She bit her lip, holding back some more tears that had made their way to her eyes again. She was limited in what she could do, because of Melanie's ever-present presence. _

_Then in the back of her head, she heard a sigh. _I'll leave, but I'm coming straight back_._

Thank you_. Wanda thought to her thoughtfully. _

_Wanda leaned in, pulling Ian closer to her, until finally she found what she was looking for; his lips. _

_He pushed farther into the kiss, and she did the same. They both allowed the passion they had built up for one another rush through them. It consumed them until their emotions overflowed and pulsed through both of their bodies._

_He reached his hand to the bottom of her shirt and began to lift it upwards._

_She broke the kiss. "Ian, what are doing?"_

"_Wanda, there's no reason you shouldn't experience all human customs before you leave." He smiled very a sly grin._

"_But this is Melanie." She didn't want to do that to Melanie, even if she had given her the freedom to do whatever she needed to do prior to her departure._

"_No," He pulled her to him once more. "It's you." He kissed her neck. His warm lips caressing her cheek, filling her with a deep infatuation with him and his body. She wanted him and her wanted her. This was an occasion that will never transpire again for her, she wanted the experience. No, she needed the experience. _

_With his hand now, she let him raise her shirt, pulling it off her body with ease. He removed his shirt as well. Her body was currently hard-pressed into his bare chest. She rubbed her forehead on the balmy skin on his shoulder. He moaned quietly. _

_This was quite possibly the best moment Wanda had ever experienced in all over her lives on the many different planets. _No_, She rethought her statement. _This is the finest moment I've had.

_His hands moved along her curves into onto her waist and then into her pants. She breathed deeply, taking in his sweet smell. Waiting for his next move, she let her hands follow his spine up and down. Feeling the lingering passion floating in the air. It had radiating been from her and him._

_A groan penetrated his lips, as she swept her fingers down his skin. She didn't dare tap into Melanie's memories on what you are supposed to do in one of these moments; she just let the moment carry her. _

"_Ian." She permitted him to kiss the side of her neck. He ran his kisses up and down, stroking his lips to her skin as he moved for the next touch to her neck. "I love you. I love you very much." She voiced her thoughts in an almost soundless whisper._

"_And I love you, Wanda. More than you will ever know." He put his hand under her chin, cupping it. She giggled and leaned forward, kissing him softly on his soft, affectionate lips._

_His fingers found their way to her waist again, creeping slowly down into her legs, tickling her as they danced down her skin. She knew what he wanted, and as soon as she had thought it. She felt her hands at work, gently removing her pants, leaving her only in her bra and panties. _

_Ian smiled. And followed her lead, taking off his pants as well, so he was sitting in only his boxer shorts. _

_Though feeling guilty, naked, and dirty, Wanda smiled. This was one human experience she was glad she didn't miss._

_--_

Author's Note: So yeah, this is hopefully going to have more chapters. I have a few others things I need to finish first though….I don't know when I'll update this.


	2. Sickness

Disclaimer: I don't own Host

Disclaimer: I don't own Host.

--

Melanie awoke in a feverish sweat. Looking about the empty stonewalled cave, her, Jamie and Jared shared as their bedroom, she saw only blank darkness. Darkness waiting to be disturbed by the light of morning as the sun crept up over the horizon. It was nothing more than a dream she guessed.

She had just regained control of her body from Wanda not even three weeks ago; it was strange to be able to do as she wished. She hadn't really thought about how hard it would be of a transition from Wanda controlling her thoughts emotions and motives to her own self doing what she will.

Even though Wanda had indeed split herself from Melanie, but her memories were still ever present. No matter what Melanie tried, Wanda would find her way back though. It was as if Wanda had never left her body.

Doc had told her that the memories would most likely fade with time as most memories do. This was the only hope Melanie clung to, as she tried to wipe away the life like memory and thoughts of Wanda's last night alone with Ian.

Heaving a breath, she stood up from her bed. Upon her straighten her back, a surge of nausea flowed through her body like a painful wave of overpowering her. Her knees shook, buckling. Melanie doubled over, feeling the overwhelming sickness.

She fell back onto the bed, desperately fighting off the vomiting inducing dizziness that was inflicting her. Her hand was placed over her forehead. Underneath her fingertips, she felt a slight warmth, as if she was running a minor fever at the moment.

Rolling around on her stomach, she expelled some vomit on to the flooring of the rock room. Black spots dotted her vision. It was apparently obvious that she was going to loss consciousness.

Just as Melanie thought about her fading, she fainted.

--

"Mel? Melanie? Are you ok?" Melanie opened her eyes to find Jared's face over hers; staring into her eyes, deeply concerned. He brushed his hand over her forehead, then down her cheek with the back of his hand. He felt her fever, which gained her a stronger unease for her.

"I'm fine." She spoke in a hushed tone. Her vision was stilling half swimming from her earlier fainting experience, but at the moment, she was very relaxed.

"You don't look so good." Both his voice and eyes were laced with worry. He combed his fingers through her hair.

Melanie groaned. "I don't feel so good." She felt another wave of nausea overtaking her.

"Why's that?" He frowned. "You've got a bit of a fever." He watched the sun shimmer in the beads of sweat sweeping across Melanie's brow. It glittered and sparkled in the light, but though pretty to look at, it's reason for being present was not a beautiful sight. Melanie was under stress of some sort.

"I'm nauseous and dizzy; probably just a twenty-four hour bug or something." She pulled on the blanket that was lying to the right of her curled in a ball on top of her.

"Maybe I should carry you to Doc or something. Just until you're over your bug." Once she nodded in agreement, he lifted her up from the bed. Melanie held tightly to the blanket. She shivered in his arms as he carried to the hospital wing.

Jared walked into the hospital wing; Doc was napping on a chair in the far end of the room. Jared set Melanie down on an empty cot closest to the entrance and approached Doc's sleeping form.

He nudged him with an insignificant push to the shoulder. But no matter how small of a push it was, Doc awoke almost automatically.

"Huh? Huh? What?" He glanced up at Jared standing above him in his half sleep filled hazed. "Oh, Jared. What brings you here? Just getting back from another raid?"

"Melanie is sick." Jared crossed his arms. Doc could see the anxiety in his eyes as he stood above him in a pose that usually screamed with confidence. "She's pretty sure it's just a twenty-four hour thing, but I'm not too sure. So I convinced her to stay here until it passes. Is that alright?"

"That's what I'm here for." Doc pushed himself up from his seat and walked over to where Melanie lay. She had closed her eyes for the time period that Jared had left her unattended while he conversed with Doc.

Doc leaned over her, blood pressure cuff in hand. "Now, Melanie. Wake up, dear." He tapped gently on her cheek to arise her. She mumbled something incoherently and opened her eyes.

"Yes, Doc." Her voice was groggy.

"Now, I've been told you've been experiencing some nausea and dizziness. Is this correct?" He pulled a flashlight from his pocket and checked her eyes.

She nodded a bit, but even that small sudden movement caused her stomach turn. She moaned.

"Any other symptoms? Headaches? Cramps? Fainting spells? Anything?" He pushed up Melanie's sleeve exposing her upper arm. He pulled the Velcro apart and wrapped the black blood pressure cuff around her arm.

Melanie blinked and spoke quietly. "I fainted earlier, before Jared found me."

Jared cleared his throat, gaining some attention from both Doc and Melanie. "Sorry, I have to leave. I have an appointment with Jeb. We've got to discuss our next raid."

Jared walked over to Melanie and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I'll be back soon. Take care of her for me." He said to Doc as he departed the room.

Once Jared was clearly far enough out of hearing, Doc turned his attention back to his patient. "Ok, this will be easier now that he's gone." Doc pulled the chair he had been using to nap in and positioned it next to the cot.

"Now, I've come up with two possible diagnosis's for you. One, you may have the flu. And two, you maybe possibly have morning sickness due to pregnancy."

Melanie froze at the word 'pregnancy'. She wasn't pregnant. She never did anything that would cause her to become pregnant.

It was at that second, in the same sudden fashion that she had frozen from the word 'pregnancy', she realized what had happened. Wanda's memory that kept floating back to her, the experience she had allowed her and Ian to share right before Wanda was extracted from her mind.

_Oh god, Ian got me pregnant. I knew it was a bad idea leaving her alone with him._

"So, have you had any-" Doc stopped mid-sentence, Melanie could feel his awkwardness as he looked at her. "Any sex? With anyone?"

Melanie closed her eyes. "I didn't have sex, but…Wanda did, while she was still in control of my body." She paused again to take a short breath. "With Ian."

"Oh." Doc's eyes went wide with surprise. "Well, let's check just to be sure." Doc went over and opened a cabinet; he searched for a minute before finding what he wanted. He pulled a small dusty purple box from the back of the cabinet.

He blew the dust off of the cardboard. "I haven't had to get one of these out in so long. This one's somewhat ancient, but it will still work." He handed the box to her. She read the front of the box, '_Pregnancy Test_'.

Upon flipping the box over she read the back for instructions. As she examined the box, she noticed the expiration date. It was dated for six years prior.

"I can tell you haven't used these in awhile." Melanie sighed. "Where can I do this?"

"Go to the bathroom, then return here with the results." Doc ordered. Melanie nodded as she stood up from the cot, pocketing the pregnancy test as she did so.

First steadying her legs, Melanie made her way over to the stream, which they used as a rest facility. She reached into her pocket and removed the pregnancy test. One deep breath later, Melanie took the test.

She returned back to the hospital wing, her morning sickness, as she now knew for sure it was, had subsided. Her eyes had already seen the proof on the test. She was indeed pregnant; she had waited long enough to see the answer before going to see Doc once more.

"So, what's the verdict?" He took the pregnancy test from her and flipped it around to see the answer.

"I'm pregnant." Melanie closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant with Ian's child."


	3. Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own the Host

Disclaimer: I don't own the Host.

--

Doc looked half shocked, half unfazed by Melanie's statement. She had already said that Wanda had been the one to have sex; it wasn't her decision. But still now Melanie was going to be giving birth to a child of Ian's.

"I need to go speak with Ian." Doc nodded behind Melanie, for she was nearly halfway out the door, by the time he finally came up with a reaction for her words.

Melanie strutted down the rock walled caves that had become her home as of recently.

Running her fingers over the rough edges of the stone, she contemplated how in the world she was going to break the news. She pondered just walking up and slapping Ian across the face for what he had done. Not that he intended to do it, but still, he should have kept some morals.

Finally reaching the room where the latest raid was being deliberated, Melanie took in a breath, and then let it out slowly. _Here goes everything._ She moved the curtain that blocked outsiders from peeking in.

"What's the problem?" She heard Jeb's gruff voice as she moved herself into the meeting room. Only seeing Jeb, Ian and Jared were present in the room at the time.

"Oh, Melanie." Jared seemed surprised. "I don't think Doc would have let you go so quickly." He took a short step towards her, but she backed away. Sending him the message, she really didn't want any help.

"I just need to talk to Ian for a moment." Her eyes met Jared's. "That's all."

Ian was taken aback by her words. She wanted to speak with him. For what possibly could she need to speak to him for? As far as he knew, Melanie hated him for tempting Wanda into doing things Melanie, had she been in control, would have never done.

"Ian." She moved herself to him. Coming within in striking distance of him, just enough space for each of them to allowed to move easily.

Once reaching her new position, Melanie's eyes darkened. Her eyes were burning a hole through Ian, as he stood frozen in front of her. Not that he'd ever say anything, but Melanie always kind of scared him a bit. Her expression was one that could not only kill, but also mutate the body once it was done.

"Ian." This time she spoke more of a growl, than actual words. He was really, really scared at this point. Whatever she wanted to say to him must be very irritating to her.

"Yes, Melanie." He decided it was time to say something, before she completely devoured his soul with her eyes.

She stole one more quick and swift step, before slamming her hand across Ian's cheek. Knocking him backwards, due to his lack of preparation for the assault he was just dealt.

His hand immediately went up to where she had just slapped him. The area was turning a light red color in the shape of a handprint.

"How could?" She roared at him. "I left you two alone for how long? About what an hour, just so that you two could say your goodbyes and what happened?" She flung her hands into the air, flailing her arms around slightly.

Ian, still recovering from the sudden blow to the face he'd just received, didn't have any idea of what she was babbling on about. He chose to just ignore her babble and try to figure out what had her all moody with him.

"Melanie, I have no idea what you're talking about. So could you please either explain yourself or shut up." Ian said as he regained his composure, looking her straight in the eyes.

She slapped him again; with not as much force as the first, but it still stung his face. "How do you not know? You were the one who talked her into it? And look what you did?" Her voice was nearly a screech.

"Mel, I think you need to calm down." Jared said as he made his way over to the two. He put his arms around her waist, pulling her away from Ian. "Just calm down."

"Jared, you don't understand. You don't know what _he_ did." She spoke the word 'he' viciously. "You'd kill him, if you knew." She assured Jared.

"If he knew what?" Ian was standing a fair distance from Melanie, watching her every move any sign of a possible attack from her. She gritted her teeth together, giving Ian a signal to move back farther.

"You got Wanda pregnant." She hissed, taking a tiny break in between her sentences. "You got me pregnant."

Jeb, who had been watching quite quietly throughout Melanie's entire fit with Ian, stepped in at this second to stop any fights that might arise before they really start.

"Ok then." He looked back and forth between the two parties of people. Jared holding tight around Melanie's waist, keeping her from clawing out Ian's eyes, and Ian who was standing wide-eyed a few safe feet away from Melanie's anger.

_Smart boy._ He commented to himself. "I think that ends today's meeting. Dismissed."

No one made any such movement that indicating they were going anywhere. Melanie struggled somewhat in Jared's grasp, but gave up after failing a few times. But other than that, there was nothing but frozen figures staring at one another in the room.

"I said dismissed." Jeb reiterated his last word. _Perhaps they didn't hear me._ Realizing they were just ignoring him, and knowing that leaving the three alone in the room wouldn't end well, he looked at his options.

He could shoot off the gun into the ceiling, and then threaten the three-some to scatter. _No_, he thought to himself. _They would just find another place to finish this._

He searched the room for another option. He spotted his nephew poking his head a little, for the first time, Jeb was thankful Jamie could never stay away during these kinds of meetings. He was always eager to find out the latest gossip about where the group would be raiding. And once he knew, he'd ask until someone allowed him to go too.

"Jamie." Jeb's voice was a mere whisper, but in the deafening silence of the room, it sounded like he was yelling. Jaime nodded happily that he was being acknowledged and approved for entrance and approached Jeb.

Melanie's eyes followed Jamie as he cross the room over to Jeb. She sighed, knowing that they wouldn't be able to make any more progress with this on going drama right now. Not, that she wanted it to continue. She really wished it would just disappear. She couldn't handle any more drama than she already had.

"Now, Jamie." Jeb leaned down to his level. Even the boy was pretty tall; Jeb still almost towered over him.

"I have a special assignment for you." Jeb pointed directly at Jamie. Jamie smiled, his excitement escaping. "I want you to take Melanie to your room and not let her out until I say so. Got it?" Jamie nodded.

Melanie huffed another puff of air. Obviously, she was hoping she could just confront Ian and get this whole thing over with. But due to the lack of medical equipment, she knew there was no way the whole thing was going to be over. She had a full nine months before this _whole_ thing was over.

Jamie's smile had grown wider as he spun around to see Melanie being held back by Jared.

Running over to her, Jamie grabbed a hold of her hand and began to tug her with him. This was one of the few missions he was given and he wasn't going to mess it up. Melanie went reluctantly.

Ian, Jared and Jeb now were the only ones standing in the meeting room. Jared was giving Ian a death stare, which Ian was attempting to give back, but was unsuccessful at the attempt.

"We will talk outside, O'Shea." Jared's voice had the same intensity as Melanie's. Ian unconsciously winced.

"And we will talk like civilized men." Jeb added. Holding the gun out in-between both men standing in front of him, as if to keep them on separate sides of an invisible line.

Jared snorted. "We'll see."

"This is my house. I make the rules." Jeb reminded both of them. Knowing very well that if he gave them too much power they would misuse it. "No fighting. Am I clear?"

Both nodded and proceed to leave the room.

Jared got outside the room just before Ian. Once Ian had fully exited the room, Jared clenched on to his forearm and pushed him over into the wall.

"She's not keeping it." Jared's face was nearly pressed up against Ian's as he spoke. "_We're_ not keeping it. It's your responsibility. It always has been." He let up some, allowing Ian some breathing and moving room.

"Then we better get it's mother back." Ian replied. "We need the child's real mother, Wanda."

"Then let's get her." Jared was now entirely away from Ian. "And let me warn you. If you ever come near Melanie with those sort of intentions again." He paused a second. "May God have mercy on your soul, O'Shea."

--

Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them! :D

I hope you're enjoying this. Someone told me once to be more descriptive and you see what happened. XD

Oh yes, and Wanda will be coming back, as you can probably tell now. I've still got to figure out a few things, but she'll be coming back. I wouldn't write this story without her.


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